Mary’s Voice: Divorce

I am grateful that Mary was able to share her story because it is one that happens all too frequently, yet we do not always hear it.

This is Mary's voice empowered!


Randie: Tell me about your experience with divorce.

Mary: “My parents divorced in 1957. I was 9 years old. My biological father was an abusive, cheating alcoholic. He beat my mother and my brother. He sexually abused me. He spent his entire pay check on his booze, and whatever else. There were few jobs for women back then, esp. in a very small town. My mother was a professional seamstress, so she did sewing for the entire community, even making choir robes for the church and skirts for the cheerleaders, as well as any other sewing she could do. She paid all the bills and provided the food and all for my two brothers and I. When he started beating on my brother is when the end of the marriage came. I hated leaving the community because I got to see my grandmother and aunt, only a year older, every day, so I knew I would miss them like crazy. I didn't miss my dad at all. There was no more yelling and screaming and fighting. My mother remarried several months later to an amazing man, that even rarely would raise his voice, and didn't believe in physical punishment. I got to witness what real love and respect was. Went to bed every night, knowing I was safe. I ended up marrying a wonderful man, non drinker, very respectful, and I give all the credit to my mom for showing me that wasn't the life for anyone.”

Randie: Some researchers argue that two-parent families are essential for the well-being of children. What are your thoughts on this?

Mary: “I would rather see children in a very loving, safe home, with nothing but respect. Children know when there is no love in the home, so staying together for the children should never be done. They should never have to walk on egg shells. Two happy parents apart are by far better that two miserable parents, going thru the motions. Then they blame themselves for parents being so unhappy. I tell everyone, you are treating your sons how to treat women, and teaching your girls how to be treated.”

Thank you, Mary for sharing your story with us!

Family violence and child abuse are whispered about but topics we fail to discuss openly. Speaking about these concerning issues raises awareness and promotes change.