Experiencing the divorce of her parents at age four has
left Liz with a wealth of insight into how divorce can impact children and
their views on marriage and family. Please hear her voice and think about how
the children you interact with may be feeling about their experiences with
divorce or how adults may be holding onto these same thoughts from their own
childhoods.
*Please note: this post contains a few instances
of adult language. It is not my intention to offend anyone but to honor and
uplift the voice of a strong, educated, and caring woman.
This is Liz’s
voice empowered!
Randie: What feelings do you associate with divorce?
Liz: I don’t associate any
strong feelings with my parents’ divorce.
It was always “normal.” After
growing up and looking back on things, though, I have strong feelings about how
parents should be handling divorce with children involved.
Randie: How did you learn of your parents’ divorce?
Liz: I was 4 when they
divorced so it was always “normal.”
Randie: Some researchers argue that two-parent families
are essential for the well-being of children. What are your thoughts on this?
Liz: It actually kind of
offends me. Half the marriages now end
in divorce meaning that an incredible amount of kids are living in a single
parent home. To insist that a two parent
home is so important discredits the work single parents do. Do I want my future children to have a two
parent home? Yes. But, if I ever get a divorce, I will never
doubt my ability to raise my children “properly” in that environment.
Randie: What was the most challenging aspect of
experiencing divorce as a young child?
Liz: Honestly, it was
remarriages that were challenging, not the divorce. Also, the bullshit that happened between my
Mom and Dad was more challenging than actually dealing with the divorce itself.
Randie: Did experiencing a divorce in childhood change
your view of marriage?
Liz: Sure! I don’t want to go through it if I can help
it! My opinion on ending a marriage
isn’t just influenced by my parents’ divorce, though. There are good reasons for divorce to be
“easy” these days (such as in the case of abuse). In my opinion, though, a lot of people give
up far too easy.
Randie: What advice do you have for future generations in
regards to divorce or marriage?
Liz: If you have kids,
don’t fuck around with their relationship with the other parent. Keep them out of the middle of your shit. Regardless of the circumstance, they’re still
“dad” or “mom” and a child deserves a relationship with them (within reason, of
course). They deserve to form their OWN
opinion about their parents.
Randie: Do you feel as if you were treated differently
because of the divorce?
Liz: The stigma of poverty
was much stronger than the stigma of having a single mom.
Randie: Liz, thank you for answering these questions so honestly
and sharing your experience with my readers!
Liz: You’re very welcome! Happy to help!
Again, I want to give a special thanks to Liz for taking the time to answer my questions and share her thoughts and experiences on divorce!
